In this culture of overly aggressive sexuality in the media, why is it still shameful for women to be open about their sexual identity? (Um, has anyone else noticed that female pop singers, in particular, no longer wear anything other than leotards?) Sure, there's the 'he's a stud, she's a slut' double standard, but regardless of that stigma, there's still some deeply held beliefs about female sexuality (as in my case, female author's persona, but really its an every-woman issue) that I feel should fade into oblivion along with the quill and inkwell of centuries past.
It doesn't matter what other people tell you, whether it's men wanting you to let it all hang out, only to put you down for being easy, or the women scorning you for letting your sexuality show too overtly instead of hiding it for only your lover to see behind closed doors. Under it all (regardless of religious teachings), each of us are nothing more than animals who have an inherent need to touch and be touched. A baby will not survive if never held and that translates into our sexual identities as we age and reach maturity. Being human means needing to be touched, loved, and to make connections (emotional and physical) with others. There's nothing shameful about that at all. That being said, why is it taboo for anyone (especially women) to let that part of their identity show?
I don't mean broadcasting your private relationship. True love should be cherished and kept between lovers alone. This world doesn't need another Pamela and Tommy Lee video (though others may disagree). I am speaking of the desire to embrace every aspect of who I am, even if it's not the most socially acceptable thing to do. I think I will be much happier if I just let that all go. I want to be free. I want to be a sultry and sensuous woman, and have that not mean I'm a whore or trashy or having little to no moral values. I want to be comfortable in my own skin, regardless of others' opinions. I long to be who I am, unencumbered and unashamed.
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