If you're single, you've probably uttered one of these reasons why you're not dating. If so, you might want to reconsider your train of thought. Check it out."Online dating is desperate."
This is a huge hot button for me because I found the love of my life online and two of my best friends found glorious, loving relationships through online dating as well. Sure, there's a possibility that you might not find what you're looking for, but the same is true of the Target clearance shelf and you still investigate it nonetheless. Sometimes, you have to wade through the weeds to the find the fruit.
Many are ready and willing to date but don't know how to go about meeting other singles. Where might these people turn to find lots of other like-minded individuals? The internet, of course! This is where the vast majority of relationships start, even if some couples think its taboo to admit to having met online. Putting up a modest profile (with an honest but flattering photo) on most any site gives you the opportunity to start looking for a good match. Online dating enables you to select someone based on qualifications like age, location, shared hobbies or career aspirations. You are choosing your ideal match from the catalog of candidates. Brilliant.
"Online dating is dangerous."
So is driving a car. Get over it. Being savvy about who you engage with comes with practice and experience. Be smart about who you meet and how. Always make sure someone else knows your plans and always meet in public.
"Online dating is expensive."
This is true of several of the more popular dating sites. Let's first note that its not near as high as what you're spending on lattes in a month, but it is an unnecessary expense, nonetheless. You don't have to use a pay site to find a good match, though paying for the service of a dating site seems to denote commitment to the concept of finding a real relationship for both parties. However, that's a blanket assumption that idea doesn't take into account that a "relationship" is defined very differently by each individual, and what one calls a serious committed relationship another might say is just a casual fling. Your commitment to finding a compatible match is what matters. Ultimately, you'll know if someone is looking for the real thing and if they're not.
"Online daters are just looking for sex."
Yes. And so are you! Sex is a huge part of the joy of a relationship, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to find that connection with another. Thinking that it's taboo to want to find a sexual partner is just backward when it's literally an instinctual drive of our being. Sure, there are plenty of players who are just looking for their next conquest. It's your job to figure out which ones are just trolling. You'll know if someone is being authentic and serious about looking for a relationship or whether they're just looking for some hanky-panky. The dead give away of the latter is when your communication includes the topic of sex really quickly. Red flag. A respectful, potential mate will not violate such a rigid boundary immediately. You wouldn't meet a stranger and then start speaking completely candidly about sex as part of your first conversation. The same is true of online dating.
"No one will be interested in me."
The universe has a magnificent duality about it. It always balances out the light and dark, the yen and yang. Whatever you are, however you look, I assure you that there is someone out there searching for just that. Let them find you and appreciate you as you are. Don't worry about being rejected. Instead, focus on what you can bring to a relationship. Why would they want to spend their time with you? Because you're freakin' awesome. You are already a work of art as is, so showcase it! (Watch for Creating an Attractive Online Dating Profile coming next week for more tips on how to show off your fabulous self online!)
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