Official Blog Tour Sites

April 16, 2013
Guest Article: Character Development
Read it at: www.deedoanes.com

April 17, 2013
Guest Article: Bad Boy Magnetism
Read it at: http://quietfurybooks.com/blog/2013/04/bad-boy-magnetism
April 18, 2013
Article: How to Follow Your Dreams
Read it at: http://share-ask.com/self-improvement/how-to-follow-your-dreams-in-life/5024/

April 19, 2013
Article: The Importance of Prewriting
Read it at: www.blogguests.com/the-importance-of-prewriting

April 20, 2013
Article: Self-Publishing for Business People
Read it at: www.cwa-europe.com

April 21, 2013
Article: Creating a (almost) Free Marketing Strategy for Your Writing
Read it at: www.sellingbooks.com

I'm going on tour!

I'm embarking on my first tour - blog tour, that is! I have been writing my little heart out on all kinds of topics from writing to business to relationships. It's been great to write articles for other blogs and websites and I'm honored to have the opportunity to contribute. I'm hoping that my insights will be well received and readers will enjoy what I have to say.

I will post an official tour directory over the course the next few days in order to make the posts accessible from my blog as well. I won't duplicate the topics on my own blog (which I call Abstract) as original content is important to me, so the only way to read the various articles will be through the links I provide.

Once my blog tour is over, I will return to more timely posting on Abstract. I apologize for my lack of new posts! As always, life gets pretty busy and I often find there simply isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done!

My tour will be 4/15-4/22 and I will return to posting regularly on Abstract the first part of next week. Until then, I hope everyone is having a beautiful & abundant Spring!

No time to waste

I am sure that I am not alone when it comes to letting the little things in life bog me down and prevent me from focusing on what really matters.  Who has so much disposable time that they can watch a 3 hour long episode of The Bachelor or spend countless hours posting inspirational quotes and funny memes on Facebook?  I sure as hell don't.  My list of things to do usually includes such necessities as never-ending laundry and scrubbing the bathrooms.  I am constantly busy but never feel like I am getting things done on the grander scale.  Why is it so hard to prioritize my tasks to bring about the big picture outcome? Does it really matter if there's dishes in the sink when I'm right in the middle of writing a novel that has been waiting for my attention for months?
I struggle with the fact that it seems like my mundane to-do list takes over my time and prevents me from making progress in my chosen path. I am so distracted by all the things I tell myself that I should do that I don't stop and think about all the things I could do.
I have high standards and a high purpose.  I do not have time for meaningless distractions that are counterproductive.  My goals are lofty and my desire to accomplish those goals is strong.  I spend far too much time and energy on the things that don't help me and neglect the things that do.
I frequently run away from my dreams and aspirations, if only to prevent an inevitable confrontation with the possibility that I am not good enough, or worse - that I am.  My fear of success is just as strong, if not stronger, than my fear of failure.  We all fail - that's expected.  Not everyone succeeds at achieving their goals.  In fact, very few do; which makes them inherently special.  My feelings about my self worth are a constant deliberation with the proverbial angel on my right and devil on my left.  It seems terribly presumptuous to decide that I'm so special that I can make whatever life I chose a reality.
But is it? If I choose to get a different job with better pay, it wouldn't be some kind of miracle.  It would be going after something I want, and doing whatever is necessary (applying, interviewing) to make it happen.  If I decided I wanted to move across the country, I would save up to make the trip. I would line up a new place and a new job before I went.  Again, nothing miraculous about seeing those plans through to fruition.
Ultimately, what prevents me from seeing my aspirations come to life and become my new reality is a combination of a lack of time and inadequate time management.  There are many ways to prioritize my efforts to accomplish all the things I want to in life, but it requires my concentrated effort.  Maybe if I put getting organized on the top of my to-do list, I can make each minute I have more productive towards the end of seeing my wishes become my new reality.
 

Necrophilia

Recently trending online is a story from Sweden of a woman who was arrested and charged with disrupting the peace of the dead. You can read the news story here: http://www.thelocal.se/44536/#.UQHkLx3O1sF
The woman in the story was not suspected of murder despite evidence that she was, shall we say, intimate, with her bone collection. Her affliction is necrophilia. Merriam-Webster defines necrophilia as, "obsession with and usually erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses (Merriam-Webster, Para. 1)."
However twisted this may seem to the average non-necrophiliac, her condition compelled her to do god-knows-what with the bodies and bones in her possession. Does that excuse it? Certainly not.
Despite its obscurity, I'm desperately curious about her case. She had to know on some level that her actions were reprehensible. Bone-lover that she is, she was still declared competently sane by a psychologist to stand trial. The means she knew right from wrong, and did it anyway.
What could have happened to this poor woman, in order for her mind to take that deep plunge into necrophilia? Was this condition hereditary or was she catastrophically abused in her youth? Was she exposed to death at an early age, thus associating sexual development with corpses? Only she could tell you, but I have my better guesses.

I could go dive into a mountain of research and psychosexual theory but let's boil it all down to this: the woman in question should have found a legal (and less disgusting) means of gratifying herself.  Maybe then she wouldn't be looking at years in jail over getting her jollies.

   

Traveling

Some people hate to travel while others love it. I am one of the latter, but I despise waiting around for a flight. I suppose my car has given me a travel-on-demand attitude towards going anywhere. There comes a moment in your life when you realize that your self-oriented, hedonistic thinking slaps you in the face when you've missed your flight because you just couldn't be so inconvenienced as to wait at the gate for a lengthy spell. I am paying dearly for my error, as I sit at the gate for three times the length of time I would have if I had arrived early enough. Lesson learned. I won't be making this mistake again.

Peacock

If a peacock's plumage is meant for attracting a mate, what do men do to lure a woman with their lack of beautiful feathers?

As a woman and psychology enthusiast, I am intrigued by the behavior men use to impress or allure women.  There seems to be a specific formula men use in order to present themselves in a positive light and make themselves stand out from the crowd.  Women tend to make the general assumption that men are primarily interested in looks, so we flirt with hair flipping, lip biting and showing more of our skin.  Men operate in an altogether different fashion.  Men seem to "peacock" by boasting about their income, education, career, stability, possessions, or their prestige/status level.  I have had plenty of conversations with men who have told me their income level immediately, and I'm continually surprised by this divide between men and women.
Women don't shake hands with a man and announce their fiscal revenue.  Truthfully, disclosing my wealth (or lack thereof) never crosses my mind regardless of the company I keep.  As a woman, it is generally not the quality by which I measure my worth or my level of attraction to the opposite sex.  (Now, the scale, that's a different story...) I wonder, do men tell each other what they make as a matter of course?  Would two strangers, both men, sitting at the bar, drinking beer and watching the game, talk about their annual gross income?  Doubtful, but hey, maybe they do.  I wouldn't know; I'm not allowed in the boys' club.
Though it may be easy to surmise that men think that women are only interested in a man's prosperity, this is, of course, no more true than a man being fixated entirely on a woman's looks rather than her personality as well (or her income, education, career, possessions, stability, etc.).  I think many women would agree that the confidence that men exude when showboating is attractive, even if its shocking that they would be so forthcoming with their personal information.  That being said, I don't see how else a man would let you know how stable or financially sound he is unless he just came right out with it.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things, we are all wired to do what's natural to attract a mate.  A peacock fans his feathers out, and man opens his proverbial wallet.  Its the different means to the same end, whether man or animal.      

  

Self Acceptance

In this culture of overly aggressive sexuality in the media, why is it still shameful for women to be open about their sexual identity? (Um, has anyone else noticed that female pop singers, in particular, no longer wear anything other than leotards?)  Sure, there's the 'he's a stud, she's a slut' double standard, but regardless of that stigma, there's still some deeply held beliefs about female sexuality (as in my case, female author's persona, but really its an every-woman issue) that I feel should fade into oblivion along with the quill and inkwell of centuries past.
It doesn't matter what other people tell you, whether it's men wanting you to let it all hang out, only to put you down for being easy, or the women scorning you for letting your sexuality show too overtly instead of hiding it for only your lover to see behind closed doors.  Under it all (regardless of religious teachings), each of us are nothing more than animals who have an inherent need to touch and be touched.  A baby will not survive if never held and that translates into our sexual identities as we age and reach maturity.  Being human means needing to be touched, loved, and to make connections (emotional and physical) with others.  There's nothing shameful about that at all.  That being said, why is it taboo for anyone (especially women) to let that part of their identity show?
I don't mean broadcasting your private relationship.  True love should be cherished and kept between lovers alone.  This world doesn't need another Pamela and Tommy Lee video (though others may disagree).  I am speaking of the desire to embrace every aspect of who I am, even if it's not the most socially acceptable thing to do.  I think I will be much happier if I just let that all go.  I want to be free.  I want to be a sultry and sensuous woman, and have that not mean I'm a whore or trashy or having little to no moral values.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin, regardless of others' opinions.  I long to be who I am, unencumbered and unashamed.