I don't know about you, but I feel this pressure within myself to do something great with my life. It's not enough to be the best person I can be, a dependable friend, or a nurturing mother who loves and takes care of her family. Though these things are very important to me, they don't fit this particular bill.
I am not sure if it's because my father passed away young (he was only 28, car crash) or if it's simply ambition, but there's this bizarre need within me to fulfill my potential beyond the average person. I'm not saying that I'm going to be a NY Times Bestseller (but hey...that wouldn't be so bad!) but I still want to do more with my life than the typical grind of going to work, raising a family and retiring in Florida.
In fact, most of my spare time is spent working towards this end. I stopped wasting my time on Facebook games (gasp!) and started finding a way to make my lofty goals a reality.
Obviously, writing and publishing my work were two major checks off my bucket list. However, publishing my writing isn't enough, despite the fact that I thought it would be. Now, my attention (and determination) turns to marketing my books and making them a success. Easier said than done. I didn't realize how involved this process would become, or how I would have to "create a brand" of myself. I struggle with the idea of shameless self-promotion. Truthfully, it feels conceited. I'm striving to separate my "persona" from my actual personality, so that I can feel like I'm still humbly me.
Who knows where my efforts will lead, but I'm hoping that writing is my way of fulfilling my potential. Though I have been writing for many years, I can always improve and I like the idea of growing as an author. Hopefully, someday, I will look back on my life and be proud that I poured my heart and soul into my passion for writing, and that will be enough.
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